To set the stage, the men must meet certain requirements that Chinese society and women have mandated. He should be earning at least $635 USD a month, have his own house and his own car. Most times, the parents of the groom will use all of their savings to buy him house and or car. Because of these strict requirements, many men don't get married before their thirties, and you can understand why mom and dad move in with him in their later years.
Women tell me that when dating, the man will treat the woman with a lot of respect and buy her many gifts, but once they are married, verbal and or physical abuse is normal. Because of these circumstances, many women want to date a perspective husband for many years.
Before a wedding takes place, the couple will get engaged. This is a big deal, as both families will present their credentials to each other and the families agree on the betrothal amount the boys family must pay to the brides family. Depending on the families circumstances, this is usually a large sum. Because of this, and because the grooms family covers the cost of the wedding, many of my younger friends want to have daughters.
The Chinese want to be married on a lucky day, so the families will consult a fortune teller that will tell them a lucky day. He or she consults a book that has information about the sun, birthdays and years of the couple and other formulas to figure out the best day to get married.
When driving to the wedding ceremony, the families of both the bride and groom decorate their cars with wreaths and flowers.
Chinese weddings typically are huge celebrations. We have not been invited to a Chinese wedding, but I have been told a lot about them. If you are a guest, you are expected to give moneyin a red envelope as a gift. Giving $400 RMB is bad luck, because the number 4 is unlucky as it sounds similar to the word death. My friends say that you give as much as you can, but giving $600 RMB or $800 RMB is considered very lucky.
Before the wedding, the bride and groom get their pictures taken and make extensive wedding photo albums. For these albums, they will wear a lot of different costumes and wedding attire from different cultures. Many brides will also choose to wear a white western style wedding gown for the photo shoot. While many pictures are taken before the wedding, pictures are not taken of the wedding or reception.
During the wedding, the bride will wear a western white wedding dress and change into a traditional Chinese red wedding dress, The bride and groom will go to each table and toast their guests. The banquet meal has six of more courses!
Many weddings will decorate with a symbol that means double happiness. This is considered lucky and they want to wish the couple happiness.
Double happiness
To celebrate the wedding people will shoot off firecrackers and confetti cannons that have cut outs of the double happiness.