Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Homeward Bound

It's been over a year since we moved to China. A year of funny, crazy, sometimes maddening China. A year that seemed to take forever has passed in the blink of an eye.I feel like I have my head above water. I enjoy my life. I have a routine, I can communicate the necessary things I need to and we have friends. In June we were asked to extend another full year. I was ecstatic, the kids were happy and settled. The next year was certain.
In August Mr. Kungfuyankee got a new boss and leadership and boom just like that we are coming home in January 2017. My life that was certain and settled was turned upside down once again.
People have asked how I feel about coming home, and I describe it as going through the stages of grief.
First stage: denial: when Mr. Kungfuyankee said his boss wanted to talk to him and it was bad news, I thought no way we are going home, they are just rescinding the Taiwan offer. When we were told we were going home, it was shocking and I just couldn't believe it. We had signed paperwork extending another year. There was no way they could send us home (the joke was on me).
Second Stage: anger!  Oh how I was angry. We had just renewed the contract on our rental house and the company's attitude is too bad, there is no compensation to pay us back for breaking the contract. I was angry that we were being uprooted early. We were finally settled. My kids are finally in a great school. We have friends.  I am angry that we won't be able to travel. We can afford to travel in China and when we get home our trips will be going to visit family, (which is great, but I have enjoyed visiting new places).  Honestly I was so angry and bitter toward the new bosses, the company, the situation. It just didn't seem fair.
I skipped the third stage which is depression. I started to list all of the food I wanted to eat and things I could do such as going to the park, getting to the grocery store in five minutes, communicating with someone if I needed help, this list could go on and on. Really there are a lot of benefits to being in America!
The fourth stage was bargaining. I thought maybe there will be a hail Mary play and they will change their mind. This was just a fleeting thought as it was pretty evident it was a done deal.
The final stage is acceptance and I feel that I have gotten there. A few weeks ago I realized that I was mad about the opportunities I was going to miss out on by returning home. I realized I needed to be grateful for the opportunities I was given. I am grateful we have gotten to move to China. I am grateful I was pushed into learning a new language. I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful my kids have learned to be outgoing and to make friends with people from other cultures and backgrounds.  I am grateful for the opportunities I have had to travel. I am grateful for the things I have learned.  Since becoming grateful I have lost my wrong held anger and sense of entitlement and unfairness.
The final few months in China are going to fly by and I am going to do my best to be grateful for the opportunities I have been given and enjoy my time here to the fullest.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Attending Church in China

Americans are blessed to have freedom of religion, or to practice their religion without repercussions.  This is not the case in China.  The PRC officially recognizes five religions: Buddhism, Islam, Catholicism, Protestantism, and Taoism. This means people including the Chinese can attend these chapels and worship.
Under current PRC leadership, especially President Xi, religious freedoms are being eroded and some small, local churches are being bulldozed. The Catholic church in China doesn't recognize the Pope as the supreme authority over their church, but the PRC government.
That being said, foreigners can worship as they wish while in China. As long as they do not proselytize their beliefs to the Chinese.
Every week, the following statement is read during our Sunday services, which we call Sacrament meeting.
Expatriate members living in or visiting China should be aware of the unique limitations on religious activities in China.  While China permits freedom of religious belief, all religious activities in China need to comply with relevant laws and regulations.Some of the key limitations of which you should be aware include:  members may not engage in active or passive proselyting among China nationals;  only individuals who hold foreign passports, and their spouses, may attend meetings or others activities with expatriate members in China; expatriate members are not permitted to participate in religious activities with Chinese nationals, whether or not they are members of the Church; and religious materials may not be disseminated to Chinese nationals in China.Observing these guidelines helps support our efforts to build a foundation of trust with government authorities and enables us to continue to meet together as the government now permits us to do.

This  informative website, http://mormonsandchina.org/  is provided by the LDS church and gives guidlines for foreigners living in China and Chinese nationals who have joined the church abroad but are moving back to China.

Our small branch has about forty people. About half of the people are here as volunteers teaching English through BYUs Kenney Center. You can click here for more information about their program. Our branch has ten young single adults that are here volunteering as English teachers, They will all leave in December. We have a family that is here so the mom can teach at a local international school, and another family that is here as English teachers.

Our primary has three girls, and nursery has two girls. My children make up 3/5 of the Primary program. We currently don't have any youth.

LDS church services are usually three hours long. In China, they are two hours long. We do an hour for Sacrament meeting where we sing hymns, take turns giving gospel centered talks and take the sacrament. Second hour the children go to Primary class and the adults rotate Sunday School and twice a month break out into Relief Society for the women and Priesthood for the men,

Church can't be held in any public or government owned building so we meet for church in a home.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

My Two Cents: Cultural Differences at Restaurants

When eating out in the USA, we would typically sit down, the waitress would take our drink orders, quickly bring us our drinks and take our food orders. We would wait a few minutes and all of our dishes would come out at the exact  same time (or close to it).
In China I feel like I am Alice in Wonderland, where everything is backwards and doesn't make sense.
I have been to dinner where we all order drinks and only a few of us get our can of Coca-Cola. The entrees are all brought out at different times usually ten to fifteen minutes apart, and usually they don't bring out at least one or two dishes at all, although they try to bill you for everything.

We have also gotten into arguments with the waitress when we order if  we are with a bunch of people. When eating with a large group two of us might order the same thing. The waitress or waiter will say "they already ordered that dish. We say we know but we want a second dish. They argue and argue  and they usually won't let us order it until we ask for their boss. It is so annoying. I know these things are cultural but they make eating out, especially eating out with a large group a hassle.

In China, they eat dinner family style, meaning they put a dish in the middle of the table and everyone helps themselves. People don't order their own entree. Thus, the food can come out sporadically because everyone gets a bit of something. I also think the waitresses argue about bringing out two of the same dishes because they think one should be plenty for everyone to share. I haven't figured out why they only bring out a few cans of Coca-Cola though.

One nice thing about the Chinese waitresses is that they like to play with my kids and occupy them so I can actually eat and have a conversation with my husband.

We have also ran into problems at McDonalds and KFC. When we order the bucket of chicken or meal it comes with a drink. In their pictures and on the menu it is a picture of Coca-Cola. We have asked for Sprite (and mind you my husband speaks excellent Chinese so there are not communication issues) and they tell us, the menu says Coca-Cola, that is all that comes with it. They will not substitute for Sprite! We have gotten bosses involved and they don't budge "the menu says Coca-Cola". So we usually have to order separate drinks or bring our own into the restaurant.

I think this happens because the Chinese don't know how to solve problems, think for themselves, etc. They have to look things up in their process book or be told what to do by someone in authority.

At fast food joints you are supposed to leave your tray and trash on the table. It is someone's job to throw it away and it is offensive to throw it away yourself.

The cost of napkins are charged to your bill.

You don't tip in China. Tipping indicates they are underpaid and is considered offensive.