In the United States the media makes a big deal out of a presidents first 100 days in office. Recently, President Trump met his 100 day milestone. It made me stop and reflect on my upcoming 100 days back in America.
My transition home hasn't been as easy or smooth as one would imagine. I was returning to my home country. Where I lived for thirty years of my life. It should be easy, it would be exciting, although some aspects have been easy and exciting, it hasn't all been smooth sailing. I've experienced reverse culture shock, disappointment and being overwhelmed.
Reverse Culture shock is happens because the culture someone is entering is different from what a person was used to. In my case, American culture is different than Chinese culture. Added to that, American culture has changed since I left (i.e. man buns, the infighting among different races, political ideologies, etc.). There have been many times I've had to ask my mom and or best friend to explain things (why is America now called Merica?!). I've had to relearn things, such as: when someone says let's do lunch, we don't plan out a day to meet, but it's actually an American way of being polite. In many ways I have had to relearn things that were second nature to me. I find that as time passes, I am more and more ingrained into my culture.
I have been disappointed in the relationships I have with people I knew previous to my move. I kept in contact with friends while I was away and we moved back into our house. So I know most of my neighbors and people we attend church with. I was surprised that my previous friendships haven't just picked up where they've left off. True, we are all busy and it's hard to get together. I think I've changed and so relationships have changed too. I have been a bit disappointed that people haven't been interested in my China experience. They haven't asked me questions, or if I talk about it I can tell from their body language they aren't interested. So I don't talk about China much. This is sad and frustrating to me because this experience has shaped and changed me. In the pursuit of being authentic and getting to know people, I want to share that. I know that it's not that people don't care, I think they just can't relate to my experiences. I think back to when a returning LDS missionary would come home, I never asked them questions, or about their experience. Now, I've come to realize how important it is to let returning missionaries and anyone returning from abroad speak about their experiences. I have come up with a list of questions to ask a returned missionary or ex-patriot that I wish people had asked me. Friendship is like dating, sometimes you have to meet a lot of people until you find someone you really want to spend time with.
Life in America is overwhelming. In China I had a few choices at the supermarket. In America there are dozens of choices of apples, let alone other fruit vegies, types of milk, etc. etc. It took a while to go to the grocery store and do all of our shopping without being overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices.
When we moved home we needed to buy new carpet, furniture and two new cars and we had to buy it fast! There were so many big decisions to make and of course my husband I had differing opinions. It was overwhelming and took a lot of will power on both our parts to rationally make decisions without losing our tempers with each other.
Life is busier here. In China I cleaned, shopped and went to see sites and still had "me time". Here it seems like I am always busy shopping, doing errands, cleaning, running kids to activities and play dates. I have really tried to do everything with intent. So my new mantra is: 1. does it bring me joy? 2. does it show love? 3. Is there an eternal purpose to it? If it's something optional, and doesn't meet these requirements, I've found the liberating courage to drop it.
Every day I acclimate more and more. I have learned I need to be patient with people and situations around me and in turn I hope they are patient with me as I go through this process.
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
Bruneau Dunes State Park
Bruneau Dunes State Park has the tallest freestanding sand dunes in North America, with the highest reaching 470 feet. Surprisingly, the mosquitoes were horrendous.
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Questions to ask Re patriots and missionaries
When someone moves back to their home country or come home from a mission they have so much they want to tell you! Sometimes it is hard to know what to ask so I've compiled a list of questions.
- What was most surprising about the place you lived?
- What was your favorite food?
- What was your least favorite food?
- What were the bathrooms like?
- What were the churches/wards like?
- What do you miss the most?
- Tell me about the utilities. How did you pay them? Were they always on?
- What was the healthcare/dental care like?
- Could you find toiletries such as deodorant and toothpaste at the store?
- Did you make friends with any locals? Who was your best friend?
- What is the funniest thing that happened to you?
- What did you learn from your experience?
- How did they do their laundry? How was it different than the US?
- What do you wish you had done different?
- What do you now value that you never valued before?
- How was church services alike or different?
- Did they have a library?
- What did you do for entertainment?
- How much did food cost?
- What behaviors, etc. were unacceptable or acceptable in the host country that aren't acceptable in your home country?
- What was a typical day like for you and your family?
- Have any of your core beliefs been challenged or stretched?
- How big was the average house? How were houses alike and different than your home country
- What were the supermarkets like?
- How have you transformed from this experience?
- What were bathrooms like?
- How did you get around?/What was transportation like?
- What was your favorite/least favorite smell
- What are some local sayings/slang?
- What was the scariest thing that happened?
- Did you witness any miracles?
- What did you and your family like least/most about the experience?
- What was your kids school like?
- What was school lunch like?
- What do you appreciate most about the culture you were living in?
- What was security like?
- Would you live in that place again?
- What advice do you have for someone moving to _______________________?
- How has your experience helped you appreciate your home culture?
Monday, May 22, 2017
Provo City Center Temple
We had the honor of going to a sealing of our friends in the Provo City Center Temple. It was the first time I had been in this temple. It was announced in 2011 and completed in January 2016. It was built on the site of the old burned Provo Tabernacle.
It was truly beautiful. The interior reminded us of a castle we had visited in Germany.
It was truly beautiful. The interior reminded us of a castle we had visited in Germany.
Monday, May 1, 2017
Lucky Peak Rooster Tail
Lucky Peak dam is a dam on the Boise River located eight miles southeast of Boise, Idaho. It was constructed in the 1950s with the purpose of flood control with irrigation as its secondary purpose. The dam also generates hydroelectric power.
Because the area has so much water this year, for two days water was let out in what is called the rooster tail. This does not produce electricity but was marvelous to witness.
Because the area has so much water this year, for two days water was let out in what is called the rooster tail. This does not produce electricity but was marvelous to witness.
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